Lush’s Furze (2013)

© Victor Wong
© Victor Wong

Gorilla Perfumes (for Lush boutiques) are X-Men – they are mutants, highly misunderstood and most of the world is scared of them. The good ones smell invigorating, powerful, and the bad ones smell strange, wrong and relentless. The packaging used to look cute and semi-professional, now they are completely “hippie-looking”. Regardless, it seems like every one of them has an unique background and a story to tell.

Furze belongs to the second series of Gorilla perfumes (the first one all have small black cute 30ml bottles), and it’s the only one I like from that series. It’s a soft, white, fuzzy-Downy watery green floral scent. It has coconut, neroli and extract of the British “furze” flower, which combined to create an unique accord that I have never smelled before. When applied, I feel like I am watching a video clip of a hippie couple frolicking and rolling down a grassy hill, looking smitten, and dandelions are hovering around them (and the clip has a blurring filter applied on top). A few hours later, when all the strangeness is gone, it becomes a normal coconut white floral dry-down.

Some info about “furze”, taken from their booklet:

Furze is a very British plant, and the prickly bush is also known as gorse. It even flowers in the winter. Lore has it that the flower was used the Vikings to brew beer. And if grown on your property, furze could protect from curses or hexes-made into a broom, it could “sweep” away evil influences.

A week ago, I got an email from Lush telling me that they were going to discontinue all their less popular perfumes (over 20, and I consider that a massacre) and Furze was on the list. I immediately took action, and also bought some of of their “B sides”. I wish I was fast enough to get their “Smell of Weather Changing” perfume, but I was too late.

Lush’s Tuca Tuca (2010)

© Victor Wong
© Victor Wong

“Name me a famous Chinese dessert. Nooo, you can’t, because Chinese desserts suck.” my caucasian friend proclaimed. “And who use beans for desserts anyway? And no cream and butter? Come on.” he continued. We were finishing a meal at a Chinese restaurant, and the waiter brought out complimentary red-bean paste soup for dessert. He told the waiter he didn’t need it.

Yes, my friend Fifty-fifty is an ass 50% of the time. The remaining 50% he acts like a professional. But, I didn’t argue with him because I myself am not very fond of Chinese desserts either. A lot of traditional Chinese desserts use ground beans or nuts for the main ingredient and they are often simple and rustic. (Except those made for the emperor.) And what do Chinese desserts have to do with perfume, you ask? Well, it’s because Lush’s Tuca Tuca smells like a very festive Chinese dessert, mooncake.

Mooncake is a pastry with filling made of ground lotus seeds and sugar. Chinese eat them once a year, during the Mid-autumn Festival. Tuca Tuca smells really sweet, savoury and thick, and for some mystical reason, a big part of the top notes smells of mooncake filling. Once it has moved away a bit, an indescribable mix of vanilla and violet leaf base notes surface from the deep orange colour juice to complete the dark and heady demonic possession.

Lush’s Ladyboy (2011)

Lush Ladyboy, 30ml, EDT
© Victor Wong

Q: Who would wear the perfume “Ladyboy” (2011)?

A. A transvestite
B. A feminine acting young man
C. Women who are curious
D. None of the above
E. It doesn’t matter

Actually, the question should be, why would anyone name a perfume “Ladyboy” when it should be named “Grandpa’s Banana”. “Ladyboy” is the first perfume that I have ever smelled that contains a banana note. I knew about this before smelling it, and I was expecting a gourmandy, sweet, ice-cream float perfume, but I was dead wrong. The perfume is serious, unexpectedly mature, and crazy strange. It has chamomile, oakmoss, labdanum, seaweed, violet leaf – the ingredients of a classic vintage perfume or a niche perfume that sells for $150, but due to the tragic incident of a technician accidentally dropped his banana while looking down the mixing tank, the perfume becomes a totally different concoction. It smells likes giant violet leaves losing their water content, Taiwanese prune tea and finely aged banana essence.

Lush’s Lust (2010)

© Victor Wong
© Victor Wong

I wonder if you have ever watched the movie “Fight Club” starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. In the movie, Edward Norton is addicted to fighting and he gets his thrills from beating people up in the club, but also from getting beaten up to a pulp by his opponents. Today I joined the club and my opponent was Lush’s Lust perfume.

Lust is a hulk and with one spray you will get a black eye. The jasmine in it is so disproportional concentrated and indolic, it’s insanely strong that it almost smells like a bag of moth balls. I almost wanted to trash it but the Edward Norton in me wanted to get beaten up by this perfume. So three sprays and I walked into Ikea. I wanted to fume out the people at the checkout lines so that I didn’t have to wait. Well, my plan didn’t work out but what a giggly perverted experience.